April 17, 2024:
His intellect reminds you of flies that swarm around garbage in summer and delight in what they can discover.
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May 10, 2022:
He fishes on his side. You fish on your side. And no one fishes in the middle.
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May 3, 2022:
Has the curiosity of flies that swarm around garbage in summer and delight in what they can discover.
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March 8, 2022:
Money donated during this hour funds the Codger's "infrastructure" needs (whiskey, cigars, Chinese takeout, rare 78rpm discs). Booker T. Bodenheim co-hosts.
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February 22, 2022:
Says that much of what he hears on WFMU reminds him of "large stones being thrown into a dump-cart."
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January 11, 2022:
He secretly wants to ruin everything worthwhile until the rest of the world is as ugly as his soul.
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December 28, 2021:
Codger: "You throw one piece of equipment at the station manager and suddenly you're branded 'difficult to work with'."
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November 30, 2021:
"The Codger's brain is a sepulcher furnished with a load of broken and discarnate bones." - Joseph Glanvill
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November 23, 2021:
He'll steal anything that isn't nailed down. And anything he can pry loose isn't nailed down.
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November 16, 2021:
This program may be shut down pending an internal review of repeated violations of established protocols which led to a most unfortunate incident.
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November 9, 2021:
"Latin never seemed to be about anything. They were all kinda bughouse—Caesar, and Cicero, and what's-his-name." — Fred Whitmarsh
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September 28, 2021:
His very existence affirms Faulkner's observation that "The past is never dead. It's not even past."
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September 21, 2021:
Once asked what to feed babies, he recommended suntan lotion, dust bunnies, clumps of bread soaked in rubbing alcohol, and pennies.
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August 24, 2021:
"The Codger is a dark little archaic personage—hard, compact, unscrupulous, imitative, and neatly vulgar." — H.G. Wells
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August 10, 2021:
"The Codger never sees a good quality in a man and never fails to see bad ones. He is the human owl, vigilant in darkness, blind to light, always mousing for vermin and never seeing noble game." — H.W. Beecher
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July 20, 2021:
His state implies a necessary curse: when not himself, he's mad; when most himself, he's worse.
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July 13, 2021:
Never nominated for a Peabody, but takes first prize for narcissism, peevishness and vulgarity.
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July 6, 2021:
Rejects the five-second rule. In his house they observe the three-day rule. Except for liquids, to which he applies a strict 10-minute rule.
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June 8, 2021:
"This louse is Dickensian in his meanness, filth, and insensitivity to ordinary human beings." – Laurence Bergreen
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June 3, 2021:
"A lot of people think they're nostalgic for radio theater, and they're wrong." – Hearty White
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April 29, 2021:
"Ten minutes in his company leads me to the threshold of madness, almost murder." — "Chips" Channon
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April 22, 2021:
The Good Doctor filled in. Listen Here
April 1, 2021:
Someone tried to dictate his pronouns. When he finished with the perp, all they found was a zipper.
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February 25, 2021:
He never drinks between 10 and 11 am Mondays just to ensure he's not addicted to the stuff.
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February 18, 2021:
He owns two revolvers and his brother owns at least a dozen, though neither of them has fired one since the close of the Liberty Bond drives.
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January 21, 2021:
For decades scholars of karmic justice have been debating how he's managed to evade the gallows.
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December 31, 2020:
His New Year's resolution—same as last year's—is to change the sheets. Only this time, HE'LL DO IT!
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December 17, 2020:
The Codger is like a hole in the ground. He's a vacant space, but he can break your leg.
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December 10, 2020:
His testimony before the Mills Commission in 1905 clinched Abner Doubleday's acclaim as the inventor of baseball.
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December 3, 2020:
Went out to buy arugula and quinoa, came back with bourbon, chewing tobacco and ammo. He really needs to get new glasses.
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November 12, 2020:
His home is a quack's sanitarium for nervous diseases, treated with medicines of high alcoholic content and "doctor"-prescribed, whiskey-based potions.
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October 8, 2020:
"The Codger demonstrates a laughingstock of intelligence, a stench in the nostrils of the gods of the ionosphere." — Lee De Forest
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October 1, 2020:
Everyone he meets acquires the awesome power to peer into his soul and correctly assume the worst.
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August 6, 2020:
Always asks for plastic bags at the grocer, because despite what environmentalists claim, he doesn't believe there's a plastic shortage.
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September 15, 2015:
"The Codger is endowed with awful powers of evil, to the exercise of which he might at any time set his malignant will." – Ambrose Bierce
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July 14, 2015:
First he tells you that he's gonna tell you what he thinks, then he tells you what he thinks, then he tells you what he just told you.
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July 8, 2014:
An hour of purloined platters rudely interrupted by grating harangues and emphatic salivary discharge.
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December 31, 2013:
The Codger was diagnosed with a tumor, but it went away. Even cancer doesn't want to be around him.
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December 25, 2012:
He's not old enough to have known the baby Jesus, but he recalls as a youth reading the obit.
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October 23, 2012:
A quasi-life force fueled by steamed cabbage, cigar stubs plucked from the gutter, and petty grievances.
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July 3, 2012:
Nothing from the Codger's efforts grows stronger, better, or more beautiful; all is despoiled by mocking flecks of dung.
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August 30, 2011:
Columnist Ty Muckton on the Codger (1944): "a surly curmudgeon whose behavioral spectrum consists of finely calibrated degrees of spitefulness."
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July 19, 2011:
He neither strives for achievement nor risks failure, focusing instead on solid, sustained mediocrity.
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January 12, 2010:
"His irascibility amounts almost to disease. He is a sad mortal to carry a wonder to." — Flossie Thrale
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February 3, 2009:
Once described by his own lawyer as "a man of nugatory intelligence and much unpleasantness"
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December 25, 2007:
The Codger and his lady friend Blossom present the I'm In The Mood For Love (But NOT for Christmas) Extravaganza
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December 25, 2004:
The reason there's a Social Security crisis is because the Codger started collecting 66 years ago and he's STILL ALIVE!
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December 24, 1994:
Sorry -- fighting for social justice, ending oppression and saving the planet are not on Codger's "To Do" list this week
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December 11, 1991:
Another evening of misplaced memories, questionable nostalgia, deranged opinions, and music nobody else cares about
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February 20, 1991:
More incoherent recollection, meandering monologues, hyperbolic assertions, and cranky blather
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December 19, 1990:
The Old Codger spins his usual toothless hillbillies, rancid novelties, and 250-lb. sumo sopranos
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